you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
