Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
