My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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