i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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