i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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