i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
