I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
