exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he shaved USA in his pubs
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
