are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
