My hand turned me down
you traded sex for a burrito?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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