so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
