I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
