marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
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