its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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