i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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