dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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