Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
