I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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