Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
