You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
