sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
