I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
