You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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