I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
A+ Viking dick
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