so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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