So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize