"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
