do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
