why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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