Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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