After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
