He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
smell my finger.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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