Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
