I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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