five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
