1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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