how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
nutella sex= disaster
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
