She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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