Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
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Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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