Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
