Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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