You're completely useless in the revolution.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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