All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
