sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
