@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
