Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
