Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
