i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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