Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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