Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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