Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
