Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize