Umm I'm too high to move.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I am full of burrito and curiosity
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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