Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
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