You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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