I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
