I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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