sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
