you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
