Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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