she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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