I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
