YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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