Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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