I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize