Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i think my cat just said my name.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
