we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
