Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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