Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
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