So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
