yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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