Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
