THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
