Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
