you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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